Beginning a blog on here, it asks “what’s on your mind?”. The title should give a good clue as to what is on my mind. So, a couple of facts need to be reiterated.
Number one – and I don’t care if you are in perfect health and know no one who even has the sniffles – any time frame given by a health care professional is an ESTIMATE. By this I mean especially time frames given for terminal illnesses. They are GUESSES!!!!! Cancer, especially, deals with so many variables that there is no way a doctor can look at you – an individual – and tell you with 100% certainty exactly how your treatment will go, or if that is not an option, just how many hours, days, weeks, months or years you have. So, when you meet someone who says they have just been diagnosed with cancer, and were given a terminal diagnosis with 6 months to live – that is an ESTIMATE!!!! That does not mean that, if they went to the doctor on February 1st, that August 1st you will get a call that the person has died. You might – but it would be rare. So, when August 2nd comes along, and that person is in the grocery store with his family, does this mean he is faking????? NO NO NO NO NO!!!! A Thousand Times NO!!!!! It means that the estimate of an educated medical professional was just that – an ESTIMATE! Be thankful that they were wrong!!! But don’t for one minute assume you have a freaking clue – unless you are privy to that persons medical records, day-to-day experiences, and basically can get in their head and know exactly how they are feeling! I mean, have you NEVER gone to the store when you truly felt like crap and should have been home in bed? Better question – if the doctor told you tomorrow you only had 3 months left – would you go home and mark the days off, listening to sad ballads for 90 days? If you woke up that 91st day, would you be angry????? Would you sue the doctor for being wrong?????

Looks kinda stupid in print, doesn’t it? Switch gears now. What if you are that person? Their spouse? Their kids? Their parents? Just a good friend? You have been there for some of the bad days – or all of them. If you are the person with the illness, you know two things – your body has forsaken you, and you are terrified. If you are one of those who truly love them, you know three things – the person you love is hurting, nothing you do fixes it, and you are going to have to say goodbye way before you want to. Then in marches Insensitivity. If you are lucky, and I use that term loosely, it wears the disguise of a friend or acquaintance. Unfortunately, it prefers the costume of someone you are close to, someone you love. Insensitivity wears that watch with the exact expiration date. When you – the sick one – goes 30 seconds past what Insensitivity’s watch says is when you should be “done”, well, then you MUST be faking! You must be doing it for the attention! You must not be as sick as you said you were – thus you are a liar! Nothing is further from the truth, but because there have been a handful of people who “faked” – and Insensitivity watched the movie of the week about their story so they know what a faker looks and acts like – you are branded. Are you still sick? YES. Are you faking? Only when someone thinks you are feeling good – because you haven’t felt good in so long that distant memory is only found in dreams you don’t remember. Insensitivity’s whispers hurt you. They make you wonder if you should just give up, give in, lay down and wait for the end. Worse still, Insensitivity HURTS those who love you – those you love; the ones that you get up and try for even when it is supposedly impossible. Seeing your loved ones hurt is WORSE than the illness. Because, Insensitivity is a scum sucking bottom feeder. It masquerades as a friend, a loved one, when in truth all it seeks to do is destroy, and provide fodder for its main diet of salacious gossip. It pretends to care, it feigns shock when confronted, but it simply exists to cause pain. Insensitivity is only happy when causing others unhappiness. This justifies it. The tears of those it seeks to tear down feed its delusions of right. You see, Insensitivity has no clue that it does these horrible things. It thinks its view of the world is the only one that is true, and since it thinks the awful things it says and does are just the truth, that justifies all of its actions in its eyes. Your tears, your anger, your righteous indignation at its insidious whispers and gossip are seen as your guilt at being caught in a lie, when nothing could be further from the truth.

So, we see that Insensitivity is a heartless being. I guarantee every single person reading this immediately thinks “that would NEVER be me”. My question is this – are you sure?

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Feel free to share if you so desire. This is dedicated to all who have had the unfortunate meeting with Insensitivity, in the hopes that shedding light on it will help eliminate the hurt – someday.

This entry was posted in anger, awareness, cancer, compassion, death, depression, disability, family, friends, humor, illness, life, support, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Insensitivity

  1. zippyrose says:

    EXCELLENT blog, Margie…reblogging. XOXOXO

  2. Christy says:

    Some days I live in the house with insensitivity and it hurts, it makes me cry, it makes me give up! It also never understands why I’m crying or why I’m upset! Love you momma

  3. Pingback: Your chance to be terminal | Completing the Journey with the Smile Keeper

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